Jake Stunner vs Jack Purcell

The screen returns as it slowly fades back after a TEWF exclusive advertisement to a TEWF House show hyping the second ever TEWF Saturday Night Impact of the second era of TEWF. The crowd look towards the stage waiting for someone to come out to it before entering the empty ring here at the house show. Suddenly the first chord of "When You Were Young" by The Killers sounds over the entire arena as the lights flash from lime green to purple. The drums hit as purple pyro shoots out of the stage and green smoke fills the stage. Jack Purcell walks out and stands in the smoke with his hands out by his sides in an X like position. He is wearing a pair of black jeans, a white button up shirt and a black shirt under it saying "Vodka "Connecting People". He smiles as the lyrics kick in on the song and he begins to walk slowly down the ramp nodding his head as he slaps the hands of several fans on the way down. The crowd cheers loudly as he stops at the bottom of the ramp and slides into the ring. He then jumps onto the first turnbuckle he sees and taunts to the cheering crowd. He then jumps down as "When You Were Young" fades out and Jack Purcell stands in the middle of the ring and flicks his big black aviator sunglasses so that they bounce on his nose. He gives the camera a tooth grin as he reaches out between the second and top rope as the ring announcer gives him a microphone. The crowd go nuts cheering as Jack Purcell circles the ring as he waits for them to quieten down a little bit before he can begin to talk. A “Jack Purcell!” chant begins to sound across the entire arena as Jack Purcell stands in the middle of the ring turning to each side of the crowd with a very wide smile across his face. The chant stops and the cheering continues as loud as ever. Jack Purcell signals for the loud and rowdy fans who are cheering him to hush a little bit so he can begin to talk, presumably about his forthcoming match on TEWF Impact against Scorpio and Jake Stunner. He smiles as he puts the TEWF Impact microphone up to his lips. He starts to talk to the crowd who have now fallen silent and are listening attentively to their own “Personal Jesus” in Jack Purcell.

Jack Purcell
Ladies and Gentlemen! Your Personal Jesus has arrived in the building! Now lets hear you really explode off your seats like you have all crapped your pants!

The crowd go nuts cheering. The sound is absolutely deafening. There is a massive standing ovation as Jack Purcell ralleys the mad cheering fans along as they get louder and louder. Jack Purcell leans in the turnbuckle corner as he waits for the crowd to quieten down again. They finally do as he waits for the last few fans to be quiet so he can begin to talk again.

Jack Purcell
Now, I have something I need to address. It’s a very important matter. Something that I am ashamed to say happened to me last week on Saturday Night Impact. It all went wrong for me. I failed you. I failed the fans at home and I failed myself. But I will not let it happen again! This will make me stronger! I will use this and I will ventilate my anger, I will repay my disciples, the fans with a win over Jake Stunner. The man who has been very quiet this week. You know what Jack Purcell can smell? He can smell fear all the way from wherever Jake Stunner may be. Whether it is right behind that curtain ready to interrupt me. Or whether it is in Australia. The fear reeks all over him! I am TEWF’s Main Event Man. I have now been in the Main Event of Saturday Night Impact not once, not twice but three times in a row! Who else can say that for the new era of TEWF? Oh yes, I stand corrected! Nobody can say that! There have been three Saturday Night Impacts since the return of TEWF and “Your Personal Jesus” Jack Purcell has been booked in the main event for all of them. Why is that you ask? I’ll tell you why. Because Jack Purcell is what the fans pay to see. Why would they stay for the whole show if I wrestled in the mid-card? Why would they stay to see a guy like Scorpio main eventing the show every single week? Why? There is no reason why! You see, without real wrestling there is no TEWF and without Jack Purcell there is no real wrestling. And TEWF needs real wrestling. TEWF needs Jack Purcell. I am TEWF’s messiah! I am what the fans pay to see, I am what all the big bosses want in their big companies. You got Vince McMahon, Jerry Jarret, Nader Pardis, you name them! They all want me to wrestle for them! They want the best in their business but there is only one place that they can get the best and that is, Total Extreme Wrestling Federation, TEWF!

The crowd erupts into a frenzy of cheers as Jack Purcell adjusts the aviator sunglasses on his face. He has a wide toothy grin as he spins the microphone in the palm of his hand. The crowd is still cheering as loud as ever. Jack Purcell waits for them to quite themselves down a little bit before trying to get a word in edgeways.

Jack Purcell
So people are thinking. If I am so great then why did I lose to Scorpio and Jake Stunner last week live on Saturday Night Impact? I could lie to you all and say they got lucky but I am not going to lie. I will tell you the whole truth of how they got lucky. You see, I underestimated my opponents and thought “pieces of ****” and nullified them on Friday Night and I did what all Englishmen like to do best. I got completely shitfaced. So you can guess that my head felt like **** Mount Vesuvius for all of Saturday and the better half of Sunday. Bad idea boys and girls. Even Your Own “Personal Jesus” Jack Purcell will not have a good time in the morning after a night of mixing cider, beer, vodka, gin and whatever else the barmen’s shaking up. If you ever aspire to get anywhere near as well as me. Don’t drink the night before a big match. Anyway, going back to the important thing, my story. I got in with an erupting brain and I was just slow, tired and felt like I was going to throw up all over the ring. Then I just felt like my insides were going to ferment through my mouth when I saw that **** mug, Scorpio. But I held it in and I tried to hold out but I let you down and I promise to you! I vow to you! I will not let it happen again! If anyone thinks they are getting a defeat against Jack Purcell then in the great words of Jon Bon Jovi, they are living on a prayer. Because your only ever going to get half way there. If your lucky of course. Most won’t get a move in edgeways on me. I will decollate them before they can say “Timebuster” and bam! I strike. Timebuster, pin, 1…2…3… It is about time the fans were granted with the sit of seeing a guy driven down onto his head curtosy of Jack Purcell again. Physco Dave was funny but still we want more. We want to see Jake Stunner get humiliated! Then you will watch Jack Purcell stroll on and claim what is rightfully his. And what rightfully belongs to him and that is the TEWF World Championship. It is the prize of the greatest and the greatest should have it and the greatest is, Jack Purcell “Your Personal Jesus”. I am the man that rightfully deserves that title. I have never gone into a one on one match in TEWF to lose. Every time I have been put against a guy in the ring, I win. Other guys can effect the match when involved, but the effects of alcohol played a part there too as explained earlier. It is time that TEWF had some taste in a World Champion and who better to bring that level of the class to the belt than the best there is in TEWF. Jack Purcell. TEWF’s “Personal Jesus”!

“When You Were Young” blasts through the PA System as Jack Purcell drops the microphone and jumps up onto the top rope and raises his hands out in the air widely and proudly. The crowd cheers for him as he jumps down and takes off his sunglasses to look around the crowd, almost blinded by all the strobe lighting flashing upon his eyes. He slides out of the ring, slipping the aviator sunglasses back over his eyes shielding them from the purple flashing lights. He slowly walks up to the stage and holds his hands out looking up into the light shining down on him on the stage. The crowd cheer loudly as Jack Purcell raises his hand in the air before finally leaving to the locker room.