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Chuck Norris

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Author Topic: Chuck Norris  (Read 891 times)
Dynamite
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« on: January 15, 2008, 02:56:08 pm »

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« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2008, 02:57:43 pm »

Oh God surely there can't be any Mexican babies left in the world!?
Lol
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« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2008, 03:23:38 pm »

lol dynamite have u written biographys on chuck norris 2 jk
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« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2008, 03:35:52 pm »

obviosly
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« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2008, 12:40:59 am »

Yeah don't even answer to that question.
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« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2008, 03:11:10 pm »

obviosly

he altready did  ^^.......
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« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2008, 12:01:04 am »

Yeah cool, but i meant, yeah i dno.
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« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2008, 08:26:53 am »

Chapter 1 The earluy years

Chuck was born of 18-year-old Wilma Scarberry (knocked up by Ray Norris) in a relatively uneventful birth. Various rumors credit God or Jack Bauer as the actual birther of Chuck Norris, but these obviously erroneous claims have been proven incorrect by Conservapedia and basic science, respectively. In fact, Chuck Norris' birth was so mundane that his father, in an attempt to "spice it up," inebriated the obstetrician delivering him. When later asked about the questionable responsibility of this act, he belched.

This was the sort of life that Carlos endured for his first ten years. Living a completely ordinary life, the neglect of his often-working father led him to take up martial arts. At once unnotable at that, he relocated to some random town in Kansas to "kick the **** out of some skeet." A bizarre goal indeed, his parents sent him for psychiatric help immediately. This monetary drain created strain for the family of five (brothers Weiland and Aaron had since been born), eventually leading to the unhappy divorce of Chuck's parents.

This change seriously damaged Chuck's psyche. His academic ability severely declined, and never recovered at all. Ever. So, in what can only be described as an unwise decision, his family once again relocated, this time to California. Later in life, he described his ecstasy at this as the "culmination of [his] desire to kick the **** out of something that wasn't skeet." He also discontinued his weekly psychiatric visits, and threw himself into his martial arts. He continued his education concurrently, and eventually managed to graduate high school (bottom of his class).

He cheated on the United States Air Force (USAF) psychological profile and became an Air Policeman in 1958. Predictably, his desire to join the USAF was related to kicking the **** out of things. Here, he began excelling in martial arts, and eventually earned a black belt in Tang Soo Do (which, contrary to popular belief, does not involve the similarly named orange beverage), and garnered the nickname Chuck for the first time. Obviously, this name stuck, and it is argued that it is what made him famous.

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« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2008, 07:33:45 pm »

when chuck norris jumps into a lake, he doesn't get wet

the lake gets chuck norrised
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« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2008, 12:10:45 am »

^ HAHAHA
I like that one, good one.
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« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2008, 03:18:15 am »

Dynamite did you actually write that? lol

But LOL!
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« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2008, 08:19:29 am »

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO
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« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2008, 01:21:59 pm »

LMAO!
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« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2008, 04:46:15 pm »

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse...Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
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« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2008, 06:19:59 pm »

Too far...
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